


How Not To Drown

by AstridMyrna



Series: How To Find Your Soul Mate [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Near Death Experiences, Near Drowning, Nothing Brings People Together Like A Near Death Experience, Swimming, Swimming Pools, Teen Angst, swimming lessons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-02 20:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13325583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstridMyrna/pseuds/AstridMyrna
Summary: After nearly drowning in the school's swimming pool, Cassian takes swimming lessons from Jyn, the classmate who saved him and who he has just the slightest crush on.





	1. Chapter 1

This was not how he wanted to start the first week of his junior spring semester at Kanata High.

Cassian walked along the school’s indoor pool with Bodhi and Kay during open hours, and when they strolled by Jyn, the girl that Cassian made the mistake of telling his friends was cute, Kay shoved Cassian into her, knocking them both in the water.

Cassian flailed blindly in the water until he felt the bottom of the pool. He kicked off of it, but it wasn’t enough to get him to the surface. His lungs ached as if they were being squeezed by a vice grip, and his thrumming heart expanded in his too-small ribcage. His panic gave him the boost to somehow kick up to the surface, but keeping his head above water and breathing at the same time was impossible. He gulped for air but gagged on water, leaving him unable to call out to his friends laughing at Jyn as she pulled herself out of the pool and yelled at them. His arms were too heavy to slap the water to get their attention that he was dying.

Jyn turned and glared at him, but her face blurred as stinging water washed over his face as he submerged. He breathed in water, and the world went dark.

*

“He’s still breathing, right?” Bodhi said.

“Yeah, just give him some space. What the hell were you thinking, Kay?” Jyn hissed.

“I didn’t know that he didn’t know how to swim!” Kay said, his voice trembling. “He’s going to be okay, right?”

“Everyone just stand back,” said Coach Draven.

Cassian opened his eyes and rattled out a cough in response. He wasn’t in the pool anymore, but on his side on the cold, wet cement by the pool. His lungs, his head, his throat--honestly every cell in his body burned as he choked on the chlorine-scented air. Jyn sat a few inches away from him, her hands hugging her knees and strands of hair plastered to her face. It wasn’t just her, though: the other students, including Kay and Bodhi, stood in a circle around them while Coach Draven in his striped sweatpants kneeled by his head.

“Yes, he just regained consciousness, eyes still looking a little glassy. Yes, I’ll ask him--” Draven said into the cellphone and turned to Cassian. “Can you hear me, Andor?”

“Yes,” Cassian answered hoarsely.

Bodhi kneeled close enough for Cassian to see the sweat stains around his t-shirt, but Kay stood straight up and looking as pale as a ghost.

“Hey man, you gave us a real scare there,” Bodhi said. “Do you remember what happened?”

Cassian looked up at Kay. The tall blond swallowed hard, his lumbering frame trembling as if he would fall apart by the joints.

“Falling in the pool. Came back up,” Cassian said with a cough.

“You did but then Jyn saw you were in trouble before anyone else did. You were only under for like, three seconds, when she got you out of the water. But you were unconscious so--”

“I’m sorry Cassian,” Kay blurted.

“I never told you,” Cassian said as he sat up, his breathing starting to even out until he looked at Jyn.

She smiled gently at him as she folded her hands in her lap. Her dark blue one-piece bathing suit was damp and her tangled brown hair clumped at the base of her neck. It was hard to look straight into her sea glass green eyes, but it was something he had to do, even if he felt embarrassed about it.

“Thank you, Jyn, for saving me,” he said.

She smiled at him and patted his shoulder. "It’s no problem, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

It was the last quiet moment before Cassian was taken to the hospital to monitor for possible secondary drowning, but was discharged a few hours later. His grandmother waited for him in the waiting area, thanking any and every nurse that passed her by profusely in both English and Spanish for taking care of him.

“Tomorrow, we have to go to a conference with the principal, probably to sign documents not blaming the school,” she rattled off in Spanish as they walked together to her rusty little red stick shift. “All they care about is not getting sued.”

“You said it,” Cassian said as he entered the car.

The moment they locked their doors, the four-foot and five-inch tall elderly woman wearing a cheery red dress and a turquoise clip in her black hair broke down over the steering wheel. Her shivering howl pierced his heart, but he reached out and wrapped his arms around her stout frame.

“I’m fine, Abuela,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m fine. It was just an accident. I’m okay.”

Still she howled, so Cassian held on to her tightly, whispering that he was okay, rubbing her back, kissing her forehead, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his knuckles. When the lamp post light above them flickered on, her wailings simmered down to a whimper.

“You don’t ever scare me like that again, Cassian,” she said in a harsh, low voice. “The church will have to host a double funeral if something ever happened to you.”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” he said, his head resting on her shoulder.

“It better not," she sniffed. "Anyway, what do you think the girl would like?”

He jerked his head up. “What do you mean?”

“The girl who saved you. We need to give her something nice. Flowers absolutely, but something else that lasts.”

“Can we get McDonald’s?”

The car revved up just as Abuela gave him a steely gray stare. He regretted saying anything, but his seventeen-year-old brain was hardwired to ask at every opportunity when it was time to eat and neither of them were home.

“Please?” he squeaked, already recoiling in wait for the smack on his head.  

Her cackle made him jump in his seat instead, and instead of a smack on the head he received an affectionate pat on the cheek.

“Milk this for all it’s worth, eh mijo?” she said as she put her seat belt on. “We’ll get the gift first, and then we can get it on the way back home.”

It was about nine-thirty when they finally got home with the gift and with the McDonalds. Abuela, surprisingly, insisted they eat on the couch so they could watch T.V., and there was a “Say Yes to the Dress” marathon. He smiled as his grandmother found this or that thing wrong with each dress that, but grabbed his arm and gasped at her favorites. This was the grandmother he knew since he came to live with her since he was six years old. He couldn’t make her worry like that again.

* * *

 Jyn eyed the bouquet of daffodils and a small, old-fashioned looking teddy bear holding a heart with the words “thank you” stitched in white on the corner of her father’s desk. They were gifts that Cassian and his grandmother Magdalena Andor gave to her before this whole conference started with her father, Galen Erso, who also happened to be the principal of Kanata High. Her father listened with rapt attention as Kay, sitting next to his equally pale and bleach blonde mother, sputtered out the story of what happened the day before. Cassian sat with the same plain poker face as his grandmother, but his eyes widened as Kay’s face turned red and he blubbered, “--t-then he just sank and Jyn dove in after him. When sh-she pulled him up, he w-wasn’t moving, and she yelled at e-everyone to help her.”

Jyn bit her bottom lip as she blinked her own tears away. She’d been in classes with Kay since freshman year, and she’d never seen the snarky, aloof classmate so distraught.

“I’m really sorry, Cass. I didn’t think that would happen. I didn’t know.”

“We’re both sorry,” Kay’s mother said in her nasally British accent, “especially since we’re willing to pay for the medical expenses that this incident incurred. Magdalena and I talked about it this morning, Mr. Erso.”

“Yes, and we are grateful for that, thank you,” Magdalena said in a sweet tone, almost like she was singing a lullaby. “Now I am sure Mr. Erso probably has papers that we have to sign.”

Papa smirked at that. “Yes, we will have a few forms for you all to sign so that we can put this whole thing behind us.”

“Wait,” Cassian said, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. “Don’t give Kay any detention or any punishment, okay? He really didn’t know that I couldn’t swim.”

“Not to worry, Mr. Andor. Mr. Tuseau, you won’t worry about any other further punishment from the school, but I’m sure everyone can expect stricter rules around the pool about horseplay.”

Forms asking them to recount what happened, again, were handed out for them to sign. Jyn glanced at Cassian as he wrote slowly and carefully on the clipboard, and it was hard to believe that his wiry frame could be so heavy underwater.

Her memory replayed the scene again as she wrote; she was talking to Leia when suddenly Cassian slammed into her and they both fell in the pool, and she twisted away when she felt him grab at her bicep and nearly scratched her breast. She popped back up and yelled at Kay and Bodhi, who were laughing so hard they were almost crying.

“That isn’t funny, Kay!” Jyn said as she pulled herself up. “What are you even doing here without your swim suits on?”

“Cassian wanted to say hi,” Kay snarked.

Jyn whipped around to yell at him too, but then she saw his face just bobbing above the water’s surface, terror in his dark brown eyes before they rolled back as he sank. She dove in, reached his sinking body within three seconds, and pulled him up within two. She rolled him on his back to keep his face above water as she swam for the side, his weight and the weight of his waterlogged clothes and shoes heavy against her chest.

But she got him out fast enough that he was still breathing and just needed a few minutes to regain consciousness. He was still alive and sitting next to her, his bony knee in his dark jeans almost touching hers.

Cassian thanked her at the end of the meeting for saving his life again, sounding grateful but flushing like he was embarrassed by the whole thing. Magdalena hugged Jyn tightly with tears in her eyes, thanking God for her and praying that He answer every one of her prayers. Kay and his mother even thanked her, though his mother did most of the talking since Kay was too busy wiping away his runny nose. They all left, but Jyn stayed behind with her father.

The office was quiet with just her and Papa, who twiddled one of his more expensive silver-tipped pens in his hands.

“Well, that’s finally over. Glad that the junior lifeguard lessons paid off,” Galen chuckled, but looked at his daughter with concern when she didn’t respond. “You all right, stardust?”

“I left out something from the form,” she said, tears pricking at her eyes again.

Galen set down the pen. “And what was that?”

“When we both fell in the pool, and we were both underwater, he grabbed at my arm.” The fully formed tears rolled down her cheeks. “I thought he was trying to cop a feel, but then I got out and saw him and he looked so scared.”

Suddenly she was in the crush of her father’s crisp gray suit and Old Spice, and he held her tightly as she struggled to sniff back up the tears she felt she didn’t have any right to shed.

“You did the right thing,” Galen murmured in her hair. “He’s alive, and everything’s fine because of you. You did the right thing, stardust.”

She only nodded, not trusting herself to speak anymore. Her mind replayed the worst parts: the eyes, the weight, the screams from the other classmates, checking for a breath and for a fraction of a second fearing the body she cradled in the water was a dead one. She never wanted to experience that again.

* * *

 

Cassian ran along the field with his teammates, pushing himself harder than he had in the last few weeks. He had a sneaking suspicion from the increased amount of times the ball was passed to him and the goalie jumping in the opposite direction of his shots that his team was going easy on him because of his near-death experience. It irritated him, but it would probably only last for today. Any longer and he’d chew them all out, because just because he couldn’t swim, that didn’t mean that--holy shit, was that Jyn in the stands?

As he jogged down the field, he shielded his eyes so he could see a little a better. Sure enough, there was Jyn watching the game, wearing the same ruffly white shirt that peaked from under her teal jacket from that morning’s conference, her blue backpack sharing the seat next to her and her bouquet in her hands.

“ANDOR!” Coach Baze shouted.

Cassian turned just in time to catch the black and white football with his head and send it flying into the air again. He turned back and waved at her, and she waved back, but she stayed in her seat until practice was over.

“Hey,” Jyn said when he approached her at the bottom stand. “Thanks again for the gifts.”

“You’re welcome.”

Some of his team mates whistled as they passed him by. Cassian stood his ground, hands on his hips and panting as he waited for Jyn to come out with whatever she wanted to tell him.

“You’re good. At football,” she said, and shifted the flowers from one arm to the other. “And that’s crazy how you hit that ball with your head! I could never kick a ball straight to save my life, much less head butt it.”

“It just takes practice and a good teacher.”

“Speaking of, I was wondering if you wanted to learn how to swim.”

He crossed his arms and swallowed back the “what the hell?” he wanted to say. Was that really why she waited for his practice to be over? As long as he stayed away from pools and shorelines, he didn’t need to worry about knowing how to swim.

“I…don’t really have time. School and practice, you know.”

“You have practice on Saturday, right?” she asks, and she turned her head so her wavy ponytail cascaded over her shoulder. “I think I have swim practice at the same time, and they keep the pool open for a little while after. I could just teach you the basics so you don’t panic in case you fall in the pool again or something.”

Hold up,  _she_  wanted to teach him? Cassian glanced to his side to see if Kay and Bodhi were hiding somewhere and secretly egging the principal’s daughter on.

“You really want to teach me?” he asked her cautiously.

“That’s why I came in the first place,” she said with a shrug. “I teach you to swim, you teach me how to kick a football.”

He chuckled, feeling himself warm up to the idea. He only really talked to Jyn when they were grouped up together in English and biology class, but he mainly stuck to talking about the assignment so she wouldn’t think he was sloughing off. She had always been nice to him, especially when correcting his grammar mistakes, but maybe they could talk about something other than school. Besides, learning how not to drown would be handy.

“I would just have to buy some swim trunks and then…yeah. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind learning how to swim.”

Her eyes sparkled like dragonfly wings in the sunlight.

“Great! How does this Saturday sound?” she said, then cringed. “Ah, maybe that’s too soon--”

“No, it’s not too soon. I’ll do it.”

“Okay, see you Saturday then!”

Cassian watched her run off, her pony tail bouncing on her backpack with each step, then headed for the showers himself. They were pretty much empty by the time he finally got there, but that was fine with him. He needed a moment to himself as he let the hot water soak in his sweaty hair, flood down the ridge of his nose and dribble on his toes.

Learning how to swim with Jyn Erso. Even though the thought of getting back into the pool made him uneasy, it’d be worth it for at least the chance to get to know her better, maybe even more.

“That wouldn’t happen,” he mumbled as he shut the water off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to release this closer to Valentine's Day, but fuck it lol. All four chapters are written, I'm just taking my time to go over and edit them, so look forward to regular updates.
> 
> This work in particular was inspired by guineapiggie's fantastic ["The High-School AU" ](http://archiveofourown.org/series/872811). I loved it so much that I wanted to try my hand at writing a high school AU as well, and this was the result. It's fun boiling these characters down and trying to figure out not only what their modern counterparts would be if they were dealt a more favorable hand, but how they were as teenagers too. Thanks and I hope you guys enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

_Bodhi_

_Today 1:32_

Hey when Jyn pulled me out of the water did she...?

you know

what they do for drowning people

_1:45_

Give you the kiss of life? Nah you were still breathing.

_1:46_

k

_1:46_

y

_1:55_

y

_2:05_

Y

_2:06_

Y qué?

_2:07_

>:( cmon man why

_2:08_

tell u later

Later happened in the Goodwill when Kay and Bodhi tagged along with Cassian as he searched the paltry swim section and for a decent pair of swim trunks that fit him.

“They wash donations before they set it out, right?” Kay said, towering over both of them with a grimace on his face.

“Of course they do, Kay. Right, Cassian?” Bodhi said under his breath.

“Sure,” Cassian said, though he planned on boiling them once he got home.

“I still can’t believe this is happening,” Bodhi said and clapped Cassian on the shoulder again. “You lucky sonovabitch.”

“I still can’t believe she asked you, and not the other way around,” Kay drawled.

“These look all right,” Cassian said as he pulled out a pair of shark gray trunks that looked like they could actually fit him.

 “See, I thought you would have liked these,” Bodhi said with an ear-splitting grin on his face as he pulled out a bright peach pair with palm trees scattered over both legs. “Easier to spot you in the pool.”

Cassian rolled his eyes and let his friends’ laughter roll off of him. He tried to hide the normal gray trunks from his abuela when he got home, but she had an ear for the crinkle of a plastic store bag, even when it was in his backpack.

“What did you get at the thrift store, Cassian?” she asked as she stirred dinner in its pot.

“Just some t-shirts,” he said, taking another step towards his bedroom.

“Really? Let me see.”

“They’re just plain white shirts.”

Abuela turned towards him, one hand holding up the wooden spoon over the pot and the other still on her hip, her lips pursing with impatience.

“I would like to see them, Cassian.”

He held his breath as he weighed his options: he never had to dodge a spoon dripping with mole before, and he didn’t want to try. Revealing that he lied about the swim trunks had a slightly lesser chance of that happening than just making a break for the bedroom. Damn it, he knew he should have asked Kay or Bodhi to hide it for him.

“Ok, so I don’t really have t-shirts, I bought swim trunks.”

She dropped the spoon and rushed to check his bag. When she saw what was in the bag, she screamed at him like he brought drugs in the house, but he managed to bring her to the couch and calm her down long enough to explain his plans with Jyn on Saturday.

“I don’t know, mijo,” Abuela sighed as she massaged her temple with her long fingers. “It’s safer just to avoid the water.”

“I can’t always do that. Besides, it’s a good skill to learn. Jyn’s on the swim team and we’ll stay on the shallow end. It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

Her unblinking, severe stare made his insides turn, but he stared right back at her until she nodded.

“I don’t like this, Cassian, but I will allow it. You call me after every lesson, you understand?” she said and lightly tapped his belly with the remote she plucked off the arm of the chair for emphasis.

“Yes, Abuela.”

“If you don’t, I will think you drowned, and I will fall down dead where I stand.”

“I’ll call, thank you Abuela,” he said.

He kissed her forehead before grabbing his backpack, but he yipped when Abuela swatted his thigh with the remote.

“Remember that next time you try and hide something from me,” she grumbled.

Cassian gritted his teeth as he went to his room, resisting the urge to argue that he tried to smuggle in the swim trunks because he knew she’d react like she did just now. She wouldn’t listen, or worse, she’d start crying. He rubbed the stinging spot where she smacked him. For all her sweetness, Abuela still had deadly aim.

*

Saturday came soon enough, and Cassian was the first one off the field when practice ended. The thrift store swim trunks were just a little big on him when he triple-knotted the top, but after a few tugs he was certain that they wouldn’t slip off. He stared at his sweaty self in the mirror as he took a few deep breaths to cool the fire in his nerves and ruffled his hair until all the grass bits were out. He left the locker room and approached the opened double door that led to the pool, where he could already hear the splashing and playful shrieking of other students playing in the pool. He hung back against the wall, swallowing hard. Crap, he wasn’t thinking of other witnesses when he accepted her offer. Of course it wouldn’t be just the two of them. He wiped his sweaty palms over his thighs and groaned, but he forced himself to walk inside.

 “Hey Cassian!” Jyn called out.

She sat on the second step of the staircase into the pool as she waved at him. He walked to her, heart humming in his chest at the sight of her teasing the ends of one of her tightly woven Dutch braids.

“Sorry I’m late, practice ran over,” he said as he approached her.

“It’s fine, we ran a little late too. Ready to start?”

He tightened his hand into a fist so he wouldn’t grab on to the rail. Maybe he couldn’t swim, but he could walk down stairs, but then Jyn launched herself away from him as swiftly as a fish.

“First off, I want you to walk as far as you’re comfortable,” Jyn said.

He smiled as he walked further, expecting to reach at least neck-height, but when the water reached his chest, his heart felt crowded by his lungs pushed inward by the pressure. He wanted to take another step forward, but the thought of the water surrounding his neck stopped him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, taking a couple of steps back.

“No! This is good,” she said and swam right up to him.

The chatter in the pool died down, but not because people were leaving. They had finally noticed him and gawked at him, their yelling replaced with rushed and hushed gossiping. Cassian felt his face go hot when he tried to glare at them all to stop, but then Coach Draven walked by and gave him a perplexed look.

“Hey,” Jyn said and her cool fingers brushed his wrist, breaking his trance. “Forget about them. Let’s go to the side and I’ll show you how to kick, okay?”

Her drifting legs curled around him and he could only nod in response. She pointed her feet so that her toes could touch the bottom before she bounded to the wall near the staircase. He strode in the water like she did, feeling like he was walking on the moon instead of being in a heated indoor pool. He grasped the wall like she did, and he paid close attention when she told him to watch how her legs kicked in a smooth, circular motion.

“Think of it like peddling a bike, only underwater,” she said. “You try.”

He did try for about thirty seconds until Jyn told him to stop.

“Try to point your toes. You aren’t going to go anywhere flat-footed.”

“I don’t point my toe when I ride my bike,” he quipped, but pointed them anyway.

When she let him try again, the bottom of his feet started to cramp but he did feel himself moving forward with a little more force than before. They did three more kicking sets before Jyn grabbed a slim, rectangular slice of blue Styrofoam from a nearby pool chair.

“What is that thing?” he asked.

“It’s a kick board. You’re going to hold it and kick.”

She showed him how to brace the scratchy foam against his chest on the steps, then floated just out of reach to encourage him to swim towards her. Holding up his neck as far away from the water as he could, he pushed off the stair and kicked as hard as he could. He barely moved forward at first, then readjusted so his feet pointed as his legs pumped in a smoother, more circular rhythm. Within seconds he reached her smiling face.

“How was that?” he asked, his fingers trembling from holding the board so tightly.

“That was great. Let me turn you so you can catch me again,” she said.

She gently turned him by the shoulders and swam to the opposite wall to wait for him. He tried to find the rhythm again as he kicked, breathing hard as if he was climbing a mountain, only better--he was swimming! Somehow with this piece of foam he was swimming and keeping his head above water and even enjoying how silly he probably looked in front of his peers and Jyn.

“I feel like a bath toy,” he called out, and then the kickboard slipped out of his hands.

He sank in the water, arms frozen and outstretched from shock, but Jyn’s strong hands pushed him up through the surface. His feet found the tile and he stood in the chest-deep water.

“You okay?” she said, her hands still holding him upright by the shoulders.

“Yeah,” he coughed. “Just caught by surprise.”

“Maybe we should stop for today,” she said and her arms drooped back in the water.

“Good idea,” he said as he wiped the water that dripped from his hair out of his face. “This, um, this was good. I can meet here again next Saturday if you can.”

“Yeah! And you did really well today, Cassian.”

“You’re a good teacher,” he said as they clambered up the steps, but Cassian grabbed hold of the railing now. “I know you’re probably tired, but I can show you how to kick a ball on the way to the bus stop.”

She agreed to it and, after he called Abuela, he showed her use the side of her foot to help aim his football in the grass. She actually wasn’t too bad at tapping the ball just enough to keep it rolling, but when she tried to pass it to Cassian at the bus stop, it flew past him and bounced into the parking lot. By the time he gathered it, his bus arrived.

“My friend’s picking me up, so see you later Cassian!” she said as he boarded.

He dozed off to the lullaby of the engine hum and would have missed his stop if his phone hadn’t vibrated in his pocket.

_Group Chat: Kay y Bodhi_

_Bodhi, 2:34 pm_

So what happened???

_2:36_

Not much. Just kicking and stuff.

_Kay, 2:37_

Kissing and stuff? Wow you two are moving fast

 

_Bodhi_

Lol XD

_2:40_

why am I friends with you

_Kay, 2:41_

Because you don’t talk to anyone else

Cassian snorted a laugh as he climbed up the three flights of stairs to his apartment, his muscles screaming at him with every step. He was pretty sure he greeted his grandmother as he stumbled inside and made a bee line for his bedroom, where he promptly collapsed on his bed.

*

Kay and Bodhi mined him for every detail of the swimming lesson that Monday at lunch in the cafeteria, and both looked disappointed with him that he didn’t make a move on her after she saved him from drowning in three feet of water. He tried to explain it away by saying that they were there so he could learn how to swim.

“Bullshit,” Bodhi said, surprising both Kay and Cassian. “You only accepted because she asked you. You would have told anyone else to piss off.”

Kay shrugged and took a sip of his soda. “He’s right. You really ought to make your move before anyone else does. Han Solo, you know, has been making eyes at Jyn since last Tuesday.”

They all craned their necks and watched American football star Han Solo sitting on metal green table and doing just that with Jyn, who sat with her gaggle of friends on the table over.

“Is that chicken salad I see, Jyn? My favorite,” Han said with a wink.

Jyn rolled her eyes, but her grin never left her face.

“He makes eyes at everyone to make Leia jealous,” Cassian said as he tore his eyes away from the scene and shoveled the chunk of chicken from his leftover arroz con pollo in his mouth.

“True, but there’s seventy-seven percent chance he’ll ask her to the Valentine’s dance.”

It was either his thousand-mile stare or the way he chomped down on his chicken, but his friends made the wise decision of dropping the subject entirely.

*

The second lesson with Jyn started on time and with more practice with the kickboard, but during their break she smiled that eager little smile and told him that they were going to hold their breath and submerge themselves for ten seconds. He lasted only two seconds when water rushed up into his nose and he shot back up.

 “You okay?” she panted.

“Yeah, just got water up my nose,” he snorted as he sat next to the railing.

“You’ll get the hang of it soon enough, but maybe pinch your nose. When I was a kid I wore nose plugs. They might be handy for you.”

“I’ll think about it,” he sniffed as he wiped the clear mucus with the back of his arm. “How long have you been swimming?”

She joined him on the step and squeezed the water out of her braid as she spoke.

“Oh, since I was two. My parents made sure I went to lessons every summer until I started junior life guarding when I was nine. I stopped going when I was fourteen, though. I got caught in a rip and had to be rescued. I didn’t pass out or need to be revived or anything, but I didn’t touch the water for the rest of the summer.” She bumped his knee with hers. “So I get it. It’s cool that you’re willing to go in the water so soon.”

He couldn’t really tell her that he was only willing because of her, so he asked her what a rip was instead.

“It’s short for rip tide. They’re these strong currents by the shoreline that pull you out to sea. You’re supposed to swim parallel to the shore to get out of it but…I don’t know what happened. I was swimming but I couldn’t see the beach and I did the one thing you’re never supposed to do in a situation like that.”

“What?”

“Panic.”

He nudged her shoulder with his. “Which is what I’m doing?”

“That and you’re probably flaring your nostrils instead of pinching them. Want to try again?”

Cassian inhaled slowly and nodded. They moved down on the last stair and faced each other like earlier.

“On three,” she warned him. “One, two--”

He pinched his nose, screwed his eyes shut, and held his breath.

“Three.”

Cassian squatted down until the water completely enveloped his head. Pinching his nose stopped the water from rushing in, but his lungs burned and his heart hammered in his throat against the water pressure trying to push its way in. Jyn’s hand rested on his shoulder, her finger tapping for every second that passed, but he lost count after five because she felt so close to him. He opened his eyes and met her hazy green ones clouded by the swirling strands of her bangs. If she floated another three inches closer she could have kissed him. Instead, she pointed up and he nodded.

When they broke the surface, he heard her exclaiming between his gasps, “Sixteen seconds! You were able to stay under for sixteen seconds. What’s wrong?”

He clambered up the steps and rested his head on the cold cement, closing his eyes so he could engrave Jyn’s underwater features in his memory forever.

“Just a little dizzy. Forgot I was holding my breath,” he panted.

Shortly after Jyn tried to show him how to tread water. He could do it, but he kicked so hard and fast to keep upright that he was exhausted by the end of the lesson. After the short walk to the bus stop, however, he regained enough energy back that he tried to see how many times he could bump his ball on his head.

 “Okay, how does that not hurt?” Jyn said.

“What, the ball?” he smirked and let it fall in his hands. “It’s soft. Look, if you want to learn how to head butt it, you can’t be afraid of it.”

“Show me then,” she said, and bent her head forward.

Her whole body hunched in anticipation, her clenched fist pressed against her chest and her eyes screwed shut like he was about to drop a cannon ball on her head. Cassian held the ball just an inch over the part in her scalp, sent up a quick prayer, and dropped the ball. She squeaked when it bounced on her head and back up into his hands.

 “Did it hurt?” he asked, biting the inside of his lips so he didn't laugh.

“No? I don’t know. Do it again.”

She opened one eye that twitched when he bounced the ball on her head again.

 “Did it hurt this time?” he asked.

“No, it just feels weird. Do it again!”

Both her eyes opened as he bounced the ball on her head again, telling him silently to keep doing it even though she squeaked and shivered.

“Goofy,” he chuckled.

At first he didn’t pay any mind to the silver Jaguar that rolled up to the curb, until the tinted window slid down and revealed the face of Principal Galen Erso. Cassian stepped back, his football slipping out of his sweaty hands and onto the dirt.

 “Well, well. What do we have here?” Galen called out.

Jyn whipped around and groaned.

“Papa! The meeting ended already?”

“Don’t sound so disappointed. There just wasn’t as much to talk about as usual.”

“Oh. Well, can you give Cassian a ride back too, then?”

Cassian met Galen’s cool, piercing gaze and wished that he could just sink into the earth and never be heard from again. Mr. Erso may be nice, but he was still Jyn’s father and his school principal. The stakes to not fuck up had never been higher.

“Sure. Hop on in, Mr. Andor.”

Cassian put on what he hoped was a polite enough smile, “Thank you, Mr. Erso.”

The trunk popped open and Cassian followed Jyn’s lead by putting his duffle bag in the trunk. He gave her a silent, wide-eye plea of _why_ that she met with a slight shake of her head.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said under her breath before closing the trunk.

He followed her around the passenger side of the car, and she flung open the back door to crawl inside before he had a chance to open it for her.

“We’re going to sit back here, Papa,” she said, inviting Cassian inside with a tilt of her head. He would have appreciated the adorable gesture more if her father’s eyes weren’t staring at him in the reflection in rearview mirror.

“So how are the swimming lessons going, Cassian?” Galen said once they all settled in and he drove out of the school parking lot.

“Good,” he said, keeping both hands in view and firmly attached to his knees.

“Learn anything new today?”

“Treading water with the kickboard. How to kick more efficiently.”

Galen didn’t need to know about the breath holding. No, no, no he did not.

“Sounds like you’re learning a lot.”

“Jyn is a good teacher. She’s very patient with me.”

Jyn cut in, “See, Papa? And you said I would be too impatient and rush him.”

Galen’s gaze softened and broke away from Cassian to look down at the road. Cassian slouched a little in his seat with relief when a jolt ran up his spine: he forgot to call Abuela. He patted himself down and hissed a few slurred Spanish swears between his teeth.

“Something wrong?” Galen asked, his reflected eyes on Cassian again.

“I forgot to call Abue--my grandma before we left, and I think I left my phone in my bag.”

“Here,” Jyn said, holding out her rose gold phone.

“Thanks,” he mumbled before calling.

Thankfully she didn’t sound upset when he told her that the lesson ran late (a lie, but an easy-to-swallow lie) and he called her when he reached the bus stop instead of in the locker room (she accepted this lie too, but she chided him for being so slow to walk to the bus stop). When he finished, Jyn told him to call his phone so they’d have each other’s numbers.

“What does your grandmother think of the swimming lessons?” Galen asked.

“As long as I call, she’s only a little worried about them,” Cassian said as he handed Jyn back her phone. “She grew up avoiding the water, so she raised me to avoid it too. I hope to show her that swimming is not so bad once I’m good enough at it.”

Cassian caught the question in Jyn’s eyes the moment he mentioned that Abuela raised him, and was pleasantly surprised that she bit her finger instead of asking it straight out like everyone else who just met him did. The conversation petered out until Galen stopped right in front of Cassian’s building.

“Thank you for the ride, sir,” he said after he got his duffle bag.

“No problem, Mr. Andor. Study hard.”

Jyn smiled up at him from the front passenger seat that she crawled into when they had stopped.

“See you Monday, Cassian,” she said with a shy smile on her face.

“See you,” he replied.

He waited until the sleek car disappeared down the hill before he added Jyn’s number on his phone, the hardest phone number he ever had to work for.

* * *

Jyn rolled her mother’s crystal pendent between her fingers as she waited for the inevitable comment she knew her father was going to make the moment she rolled up her window after she said good bye to Cassian.

 “May I ask why Mr. Andor was bouncing a soccer ball on your head?” Papa asked in a slightly bemused tone.

“I asked him to. He’s trying to teach me how to head butt it.”

“I’m sure that will come in handy in the next swim meet.” He laughed at her exasperated look.

“I’m only teasing, stardust.”

She rolled her eyes and checked her buzzing phone, expecting it to be Leia or Jessika or Amilyn, but instead it was Cassian who sent her a text:

_1:35pm_

thanks for driving me home again

_1:39_

even tho I made it awkard af lol

sorry about that

 

My dad really didn’t want me to give you swimming lessons

and I wanted to prove him wrong.

So thanks for saying that stuff.

_1:42_

I do think you’re a good teacher tho

_1:43_

Aw thanks

_1:44_

About my grandma

I think you should know that

she took care of me since my parents died when I was six.

“I know it’s still early on, but how are the lessons going?” Papa asked.

Jyn ripped her eyes away and stammered, “Fine, they’re fine.”

Papa glanced at her, “That doesn’t sound fine.”

She flipped her phone over her thigh so she could focus on the road ahead.

“They’re better than fine, they’re good. He tries really hard, but he’s still nervous about putting his face in the water which…I mean, can you blame him? But I’m taking it slow.”

“You’re staying in the shallow end, right?”

“Of course, Papa. I’m not stupid.”

 Jyn read his text again, rolling her tongue behind her teeth as she found herself in the same position her friends were after her mom died when she was twelve. Christ, it was only five years ago since the funeral, and she still prickled at the memory of people trying to comfort her with cookie-cutter sentiment as she typed.

_2:07pm_

wow that sucks

duck I didn’t mean to send that

*fuck

_2:09_

lol

_2:09_

I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to say that

That was really shitty

I don’t know what to say honestly

_2:11_

it’s okay, it happened a long time ago

so long ago that I was still in Mexico

_2:12_

Really?!

I was wondering

_2:13_

I was born here, but then my parents and I moved back

when I was seven months old. I lived there until they died.

_2:20_

Yeah I was living in England with my mum while Papa was securing a job here.

I moved when I was eight when he was hired as vice principal.

_2:21_

What does your mom do?

Jyn put her phone to sleep and stared out the window until Papa drove into the driveway. She dove into her homework the moment she sat down at her desk, ignoring the phone even when it flickered with texts from her other friends. Papa came in with coffee and she acted like her tired normal self, even though she gripped her pendant so tightly that it left scattered indents in her palm. With her homework finished, she pulled open the bottom drawer and took out the seashell frame with the photo she took with her mum before the diagnosis. Her and her mum posing in their matching swimsuits, only Jyn wore her ridiculously fluffy pigtails and her mum had her hair neatly tucked away under her swim cap. She took a picture of the picture and sent it to him.

_10:23 pm_

She was the swim coach at my middle school

When I was 12 she was diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer

She died six months later

She hid the photo away and abandoned her phone so she could get ready for bed. Once she snuggled under her bed sheets, she plugged her phone on her nightstand table. The screen glowed with a tiny picture from Cassian. She opened the chat again and zoomed in on the digital copy of the aged photograph of a smiling, tanned couple, the woman with a perm and the bearded man holding a dazed, chunky baby.

_10:30 pm_

I’m sorry

_10:51_

This is a picture of my folks

Before they moved back to Mexico

_12:04 am_

Is that you as a baby?

_12:11_

Yeah :)

_12:11_

You were so cute!!!

So chubby!!

_12:12_

lol

those pigtails are very you

_12:13_

what’s that supposed to mean lol

_12:14_

they’re cute

Jyn rolled her sore eyes. He could just tell her that she was cute instead of just doing it this round-about way; it wouldn’t be the first time someone called her cute, after all. She typed out “you’re cute” to goad him, but deleted it. She scrolled back up to his photo and took a closer look at his parents. He was gangly like his dad, and they both shared a sharp-cut jawline, but he had his mom’s rich brown hair and large, expressive eyes. “You’re cute” she typed and deleted again, even though she meant it, but she knew if she sent it then it’d make the swim lessons weird.

_12:20_

all right I got to sleep

_12:21_

same

good night

_12:21_

night

_12:25_

you were so fucking cute

as a baby

_12:26_

lol good night Jyn

“Good night,” she murmured.

She put the phone back on the nightstand table and sighed in her pillow, physically exhausted but her mind weaving dreams out of daytime memories. She experienced the fuzzy vision of Cassian kneeling in the pool, one hand pinching his nose while the other held on to her arm so she could anchor him. His dark eyes watched her, squinting and curious. His face could be as blank as a sheet of clean paper, but his eyes told her everything. She took his hand and pulled him to the deep end of the pool that expanded into an ocean.

She often dreamed of swimming, but this was the first time she dreamed of swimming with someone else.


	3. Chapter 3

Even though it was late January, the sun was out and warm enough for Jyn and her friends to sit under one of the elm trees, which allowed an excellent view of the impromptu football game on the lawn by a mix of the boys’ and girls’ teams. Cassian may have been as graceful as an anchor in the pool, but on the lawn he transformed into an elegant force of nature, dashing and swerving between players like the wind, his footwork so fast and neat that the ball practically floated over the grass. Nothing could get pass him either; she held her breath when she saw the ball was about to fly over him, but he launched himself into the air and knocked the ball back to earth with his head. Kes Dameron gave him a high five as Shara Bey zoomed passed them with the ball. The boys chased after her, but she shot past temporary goalie Bodhi and over the invisible goal line marked by a pair of backpacks. Even when Cassian groaned and grabbed at his hair, his joy radiated from every inch of him and the way his smile caught the sunlight--

“I’ll eat that sandwich if you’re not planning to,” Leia said.

“What?” Jyn said and looked down at the half a sandwich in her hand with the tip nibbled off.

Leia and Amilyn looked at each other before bubbling over with laughter. Jyn felt heat around her collar, took a bigger bite of her turkey sandwich, and chewed until it was a salty glob that stuck on the roof of her mouth as she turned her eyes on the game again.

Leia shook her head and sighed, “So Amilyn, you want to go to the Valentine’s dance with me?”

Amilyn put down the scarf she was finger crocheting and flipped her soft lavender curls away from her face. “I thought you were going with Han.”

“That moron? Please. Maybe once he gets his head out of his ass I’ll consider it.”

“It is a nice ass, though.”

Leia smirked. “Speaking of, today was a good day for Cassian to wear khakis. Right, Jyn?”

Jyn tore her eyes away from the game and forced herself to eat another bite of her sandwich, trying and failing to ignore her friends laughing at her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jyn finally said.

“We’re talking about you staring at Cassian since the game started,” Amilyn filled in cheerfully.

“And the not-so-secret swimming lessons you’ve been giving him the last three weeks,” Leia added.

“Yeah, ’cause he almost _drowned_ right in front of me,” Jyn snapped back. “So I tried to do the right thing and now we’re friends because of it.”

  
“But Kay said--”

“I don’t give a fuck what Kay said, Amilyn!” Jyn shouted right as the bell rang.

Kay, who had been standing on the sidelines throughout the game, now turned to look in Jyn’s direction while shading his eyes with his massive hands. Jyn grabbed her lunch and stomped away from the lawn towards English class just as the first bell rang. Just as she sat down, her phone buzzed.

_Leia and Amilyn_

_Amilyn, 1:05 pm_

I’m sorry I upset you, Jyn.

Leia’s sorry too.

_Leia 1:06_

I’m only half-sorry.

You shouldn’t have yelled at Ami

_1:06_

Yeah whatever

Sorry Ami

Jyn put her phone on silent and slid it in her pocket just as Cassian sat next to her, his skin still dewy with sweat. They acknowledged each other casually enough, but said nothing when Ms. Mothma entered the classroom in time with the second bell.

“All right everyone, please pull out _Jane Eyre_. If you forgot your copy, buddy up,” Ms. Mothma announced.

Jyn looked through her backpack and groaned when she realized that she had been so pissed off at Leia and Amilyn that she forgot to swing by her locker to get her copy. She glanced over at Cassian, who looked back at her with his copy in his hand and a shy smile on his face.

“Need a ‘buddy’?” he said.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said, already scraping her desk to be next to his.

She leaned in a little close to find the spot Ms. Mothma wanted to discuss and inhaled the scent of the sun and grass that warmed the air around him. He hunched over the book and leaned his temple against his fist. She lowered her head so her hair could veil her face, her eye peeking beyond it to observe him breathe long and even and slow, the white fabric around his chest tightening with every breath.

The space between her legs hardened into a hot lump, and Jyn had to look away and squeeze her thighs together until the feeling passed. She tried to scribble down notes about the importance of the lightning splitting the chestnut tree, but it was hard to hear the teacher through her pulse banging against her ear drums.

So what if she had a small crush on Cassian? He was nice and she saw him shirtless every Saturday. It made sense that she’d start feeling a little gooey around him, like all the other guys she went gooey over in the past. It was the first stage of a cycle she recognized in her sophomore year of high school: meet a cute guy, get to know him a little, have an intense, fantastical crush, get to know him better, he does something stupid, she ends up being friends with him or they never speak again. It happened with Hadder Pont and Bodhi Rook and even Han Solo, and it would happen with Cassian Andor.

*

The third and most of the fourth swimming lessons went as well as they usually did, only Cassian had trouble coordinating his newly learned strokes (more like slapping, in all honesty) with his kicks and exhausted himself too quickly without getting very far. Sometimes he choked on the splash back on his face and he had to stop, grumbling out apologies as he wiped his face. Jyn thought it would be easier for him to learn how to swim head-high freestyle so he didn’t have to put his face in the water, but halfway through the fourth lesson they were both getting tired and frustrated.

“Maybe I can teach you something that needs less energy. Do you want to learn how to float on your back?” she proposed.

“Sure,” he said. “It can’t be that hard, can it?”

“Depends on how comfortable you are in the water.”

They stood right next to the stairs for this lesson. Jyn lowered Cassian in the water, the rounds of his feet anchoring him on the second step. She cradled the back of his head with one hand and poked and prodded him to get in the right position with the other.

“Your ears need to be in the water, Cassian, or else it won’t work.”

His face stiffened but he relaxed his neck enough for his ears to be submerged. He let out a shuddering breath, his dark eyes wide and focused on Jyn.

“You’re okay, you’re doing good,” she said, despite the fact that his chest was rising and falling in fast, short cycles. “Just relax. Stretch your arms and legs out.”

But his limbs remained rigid, the trembling islands of his belly and his face the only exposed surfaces of his body. The center of his eyes grew darker as his pupils widened to suck up every bit of color around them. She’d seen those eyes once before, but she was holding him up now. He was safe in her arms.

“Just keep calm, and then you’ll--”

“No,” Cassian grunted as he grabbed the railing and pulled himself out of the water. “No, Jyn. I’m done for today.”

Jyn remained frozen in the pool, her palm still warm from holding his head, as he left the pool without another word.

“Cassian,” she called out as she climbed out of the pool and tried to follow him.

When he entered the men’s locker room without even looking back at her, she growled in frustration before retreating into the women’s locker room to throw on her change of clothes. By the time she got out of the locker room he was already down the hall.

“Cassian!” she shouted at him, but he was already out the door.

By the time she got outside too, he was almost to the bus stop. How in the hell he could walk that fast she didn’t know, but she booked it so she could reach him before he could decide to run away from her all the way home.

“Cassian, stop!”

He continued walking and hooked his arm around the bus stop pole. Jyn finally caught up with him, and huffed for a moment to catch her breath.

“I-I’m sorry, Cassian.”

His eyebrows knitted in confusion. “For what?”

“I could tell that…that you weren’t comfortable. I should have stopped sooner so you wouldn’t…”

“Panic.”

She nodded and her fingers grasped her pendant. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, though the pupils in his eyes were still wide when he glanced at her.

They fell silent for a little while. Jyn’s toes twitched in her sneakers, missing the football she usually kicked on the way to the bus stop.

“I think I’m going to go walk to the mall. Want to come?” she asked.

“I need to do homework,” he said and straightened up off the pole as the bus approached its stop. “Bye.”

“Bye,” she said.

She turned back to the school once the bus drove away, her feet sinking into the grass like she wore cinder blocks for shoes. She dragged herself to the faculty offices and melted on the bench next to her father’s office with her head in her hands, her sliver of a crystal pendant weighing down on her neck like it was a boulder.

“What did you do to get sent to the principal’s office?” she heard her father say with exaggerated sternness in his voice, but when she looked up at him the humor fell away. “What happened, stardust?”

“I really screwed up, Papa,” she said, her breath hitching in her throat.

By the time she explained to Papa what happened and he took her for ice cream and she moped in her bed for about two hours watching _Criminal Minds_ , her phone buzzed. She checked it and saw that it was Cassian, only he was actually calling her instead of texting. Her thumb hovered over the screen as she considered whether to pick up what may be the first and last call from Cassian, but she swallowed down her fear and picked up.

“Hello?” Jyn said.

“Hey, it’s Cassian,” he said, his voice even gravellier over the phone.

“Hey.”

“You okay?”

“That’s my line,” she chuckled.

Her heart felt a little lighter when she heard him laugh.

“Yeah, I’m better,” he said. “I took a nap and that helped. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You didn’t scare me, Cassian.”

The pause between them grew heavy under the weight of her obvious lie. Why else did she chase him, unless she was scared of--

“Okay, I wasn’t scared, I was just upset that I ruined the lesson and worried that you wouldn’t want to do them anymore,” she said, pressing the phone against her cheek so hard that the metal grew hot.

“I still want to do them. I want to try floating again too, but maybe at the beginning when I’m not tired,” he said too, but then his voice dropped to an almost imperceptible hush, “I think that’s why I felt like I was drowning.”

“I won’t let you drown,” she whispered.

“You’d think I’d know that by now.”

She laughed a little at that.

“Anyway, we can practice floating again, but we’ll take it slower. Is it the ear thing that freaks you out?”

“Kind of,” he said, his voice easier to hear now.

“Maybe practice having them in the water when you take a bath, so you get used to the feeling.”

“I’ll do that. And Jyn…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t like complaining, but I’ll try to let you know sooner if I’m not okay with something.”

“Totally, and it’s not complaining, Cassian. I want to know if you’re okay or not okay with something,” she said, and had it been Hadder Pont or Bodhi Rook or even Han Solo, that would have been the point where she told him good bye because she needed to go to bed early, only to text her friends until one in the morning about every little detail about their conversation, but instead she asked, “So do you think Jane should have gotten back with Rochester or not?”

A crackly pause on the other line.

“Wait, what?” he asked.

“Jane Eyre. Edward Rochester. Should they have gotten back together?”

It was nice, listening to his voice as he talked out how he felt Rochester was a supreme ass that probably didn’t deserve Jane, but he somehow made her happy. Their conversation eventually wound its way far past homework and into sports statistics and books and movies and T.V. shows and a bit of politics before leaping back to T.V. until almost two in the morning.

“Jyn?”

“Hrm, what were you saying?” she asked, her eyes closed.

His chuckle crackled on the other side.

“I was saying it was time to go to sleep, Jyn.”

“Right, good night.”

“Night.”

Her fingers too heavy to hang up the phone, Jyn felt her mind slowly slip into the dream of them swimming in the pool as wide as an ocean, but Jyn closed the slim gap between their faces.

 She woke up with her alarm blaring next to her, and when she unlocked she saw that she had talked to Cassian for almost six hours last night. If she hadn’t passed out on her bed, they probably would have talked longer. This had grown beyond just a little crush, and Jyn wasn’t quite sure if she should be happy or terrified, because she never really got this far with anyone else.

* * *

_A Few Hours Earlier_

Cassian barely said a word to Abuela when he returned home from the lesson and she was both surprised he was there early and upset that he didn’t call when he left. An apology, an announcement that he was going to take a nap, and he hid in his room and under his bed sheets. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the vice grip on his chest that made it so hard to breathe as he relived the incident. Jyn looked down at him with a soft, pleased smile on her face and murmuring things he couldn’t hear because his ears were in the pool. The water over his throat crept up his chin and stung at the edges of his eyes, and his body shouted at him that he was drowning and he needed to get out _now_. He tried to hold it in for as long as he could, but the fear took over and he couldn’t do it.

Then there was Jyn.

Any other day he would have been happy to spend more time with her, but he just wanted to be home. Even waiting for the bus felt like agony, and he wanted to just blink and teleport home as he endured every moment of the bus ride, but every time he closed his eyes he saw Jyn’s flushed, desperate face. He should have told her that he was going to see her Saturday. He should have said something, anything so she wouldn’t worry, but all he could manage was ‘bye.’

 “Cassian?” Abuela said quietly, creaking the door open.

He said nothing, only listened as she stepped into his room and sat on the edge of his bed.

“What happened, mijo?”

“I’m just tired.”

She pulled the cover away from his face.

“Every Saturday, you come home tired, but this is more than tired. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“This is not nothing,” she said as she traced the puffy skin under his eyes. “When did you become too old to tell your abuela your problems, hm?”

Cassian curled up and draped his arms around his grandmother, planting his face in her puffy pink sleeve and breathing in the blend of cumin and chili and lavender that always perfumed her skin. Abuela ruffled his hair and patted it down, cooing comforting noises like one of the pigeons she liked to feed on Sundays after mass.

“Something happened at the pool, didn’t it?” Abuela said.

“It was nothing, really. I was learning how to float on my back and I panicked, which is what you’re not supposed to do. But I think I scared Jyn too. She chased after me after I left the pool and said it was her fault.”

“Was it her fault?”

“No. _No_ , abuela,” he said more firmly when she stiffened under his arms and he could imagine the pointed look on her face. “I should have said something before but I didn’t, not until I couldn’t stand to be in the pool anymore.”

“Mijo, look at me.”

He turned his face so that one eye peered up at her face.

“Are you learning how to swim because you want to, or because you want to impress this Jyn?”

He blinked once and buried his face in her shoulder again.

“Ah, I knew it!” she cackled. “Don’t sulk, Cassian. I have eyes and ears, you know. Your abuela did stupid things for your abuelo before we were married. I understand.”

He turned his face again and felt a childish grin tug at his face. “Like what?”

“Things I’ll tell you when you’re older. But I know you. If you want something very badly you’ll do anything to get it and not complain about it along the way, but I want you to be safe. I am sure Jyn wants you to be safe too. You need to say something if something bothers you or else…well, look at how today went. All right, mijo?”

“Yes, Abuelita.”

“You haven’t called me that in a long, long time,” she laughed and she patted his cheek. “But you should call her and explain, once you’ve gotten some sleep. You look awful.”

He hugged her tightly and she kissed the top of his head like she used to when his parents were alive and they visited her for Christmas once a year. She had been sugary sweet and always wanting to hug him, even when he tried to squirm away because she hugged too tightly and kissed too much. Things changed when he came to live with her, and she became stern and liberal with la chancla. But he changed too. He had always been a bit shy as a kid, but he knew after that the final move to America he clammed up and couldn’t stand hugs from his grandmother, now more of a mother that he didn’t ask for. For awhile, anyway. Late in elementary school he made friends with Bodhi and Kay, and in middle school they were apart of the football team so of course he had to be a part of it too. He and his grandmother started speaking more now that there was more to say besides the lives his parents’ lost. He let her hug and kiss him more, and she became softer and sweeter. He didn’t know when “abuelita’s house” became “home,” but he was glad that he was home with her.

*

After the call with Jyn, Cassian didn’t have to wait until Saturday to meet up with her again. She buddied up with him in class, even when she had her book. During lunch he would “accidently” kick the ball towards her friends and so she could kick it back to him, even though he usually ended up chasing after the ball. He read and reread their texts about the most mundane crap during breaks, and after school he’d lose at least an hour easy just texting her back and forth about anything. Not even Han Solo’s obnoxious flirting with Jyn in the hallways could dampen his spirits, nor would Bodhi and Kay’s constant badgering about making his move and asking Jyn to the Valentine’s dance.

“I’ll do it after the swim lesson tomorrow,” he told them at lunch.

“Man, talk about coming down to the wire,” Bodhi moaned.

“I had to make sure she liked me first,” Cassian bristled.

“When she offered you the swim lessons, that should have been your first clue that she liked you,” Kay said.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Who are you going with, then?”

“Bodhi.”

“What?” Cassian said after he coughed out his rice.

“Didn’t…didn’t we tell you?” Bodhi said, turning to Kay for reassurance. “I thought you told him.”

“I wanted him to figure it out himself,” Kay said as he finished his Cheetos.

“What, that I became the third wheel?” Cassian laughed. “When did this happen?”

“Well, while you were in the hospital, Bodhi was there to comfort me,” Kay said as he drew Bodhi into a tight hug.

“And after you were let out too,” Bodhi chimed in, resting his head on Kay’s shoulder and a dreamy look in his eye. “I don’t know, man. Something just...sparked.”

Cassian snorted a laugh.

“I’m so glad that my near-death experience could bring two people together.”

“Four people, if you’d get over yourself and just ask Jyn out,” Kay pointed out.

Cassian only grumbled at them, but they both had a point. He waited longer than he should have to make his move, but he had a good feeling about this Saturday. No more excuses, he was going to ask her out.

*

Saturday’s lesson started smoothly enough. He’d practice dunking his head in the bathtub like Jyn advised, and today it was paying off. He still felt weird and vulnerable splayed over the water’s surface, but it felt nice to have Jyn supporting his head. When she let go of his head, he actually managed to float on his own for a few seconds before letting his legs droop and touch the tile.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Cassian said.

“Want to try again, but a little further out?”

They walked away from the staircase and closer to the edge of the shallow end, just before the floor sloped into the deep end where a few students were swimming or diving. Cassian leaned back until his head touched Jyn’s hands. Instead of standing on his side this time, she stood behind him, his scalp bumping her covered belly button. She looked straight down at him, her lips slightly parted, and his breath hitched in his throat.

“Relax and keep your eyes on me. You should spread your feet apart a little more so your legs don’t sink as much.”

He did as she asked, and he felt his calves rise a little higher because of it. His body felt like it was relaxing on top of a bubble that would have floated away if Jyn didn’t keep him anchored, her thumbs gently rubbing behind his ears. His eyes closed without him knowing it until Jyn spoke again.

“How do you feel?”

“Good,” he said, and meant it.

“Want to try floating on your own?”

He kept his eyes closed, because he knew that if he opened them then he’d never want her to let go.

“Yeah.”

“Ok, I’m going to let go. When you open your eyes, just keep looking straight up at the ceiling.”

“Okay.”

When she let go, he felt the pool disappear with her. For a moment he was an astronaut floating through empty space. He breathed in deeply and felt it gather in his stomach, keeping him buoyed. His feet sank a little until he kicked them gently back to the surface. If it weren’t for the water splashing up the side of his face, he may have even fallen asleep there.

He opened his eyes, but he didn’t look straight up. His eyes wandered around to find Jyn and the slight turn of his head made him lose his balance on the invisible force that held him up to the surface. His head sank and water rushed up his nose and boiled behind his eyeballs. He flailed and his hand hit something warm and soft. A hand pushed his shoulder up just as his feet slammed against the tile. When he broke through the surface, sputtering and snorting, he saw a watery-eyed Jyn with one hand on his shoulder and the other covering her nose. His hand still stung as he realized what he’d just done.

“Jyn?” he wheezed. “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” she said when she lifted her hand.

Blood bubbled out of her left nostril and she clamped her hand over her nose again, but the blood trail leaked through her fingers and flowed over her top lip.

*

A trip to the nurse’s office and a walk to the mall’s ice cream shop later, Cassian and Jyn shared a booth and were served the shop’s largest banana split they had. The glass boat as large as an American football carried two split bananas that served as the foundation for the piles of hand churned strawberry, chocolate chocolate chip, and vanilla bean ice cream scoops, drizzled in dark chocolate sauce, and crowned with swirls of whip cream jeweled with crush walnuts and chocolate shavings. The cherries on top were actual bing cherries too, which Jyn asked for instead of the sickly-sweet maraschino cherries. The dessert was served with two spoons, but Cassian left his untouched while Jyn dug right in with it.

 “I’m sorry,” he said, nursing his free cup of water.

“I keep telling you it’s okay, Cassian,” she said and scooped up a bit of whipped cream to eat by itself. “All I got was a bloody nose. It didn’t even last more than five minutes.”

“If I didn’t panic, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Look, I still flinch when I see a football coming my way. It’s the same with swimming, it takes time to get comfortable in the water.”

“I guess.”

“Besides, you’re one of the most chill guys I’ve ever met. I’d think you were a robot if nothing freaked you out.”

“I have to keep calm. You saw Kay at the conference after this whole thing happened. He was a complete mess. And my grandmother, I hadn’t seen her cry that hard since my parents died. Everyone’s making a fuss because I _almost_ died, but I didn’t die. I was fine. I am fine.” He drained the last of his water. “I’m fine.”

Jyn gaped at him and he looked straight down at the cup that crumpled between his fingers. Where in the hell did that come from? His chest heaved as if he had been holding his breath underwater for way longer than sixteen seconds and only now just came up for air. Suddenly, his spoon hovered midair underneath his face. He looked up, and Jyn quirked a smile as she held up his spoon.

“I think you need this more than I do,” she said.

“I got it for you.”

“Just let me share it.”

He stared at the spoon for a moment, then took it to scrape up some of the vanilla ice cream.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

After a few cautious licks he dug out bigger chunks of ice cream and whip cream, the cold sweetness soothing the hot, bubbling acid in his stomach.

“What made you go back to the water after you had to be rescued from the rip?” he eventually asked, once they had decimated half of the banana split.

“I needed to practice for swim tryouts. I stayed in the shallow end for the first week, but then I went further and further out.” She paused to chew on a piece of frozen banana. “I had missed swimming, a lot. You have to be careful, obviously, but I feel freer underwater. My mum said I was a mermaid in a past life.”

“I believe it,” he chuckled, meeting her sea-green eyes. “I go under and I keep…I keep remembering that feeling of being trapped in the water, but I want to keep trying. It’s so stupid, being afraid of the water, but you’ve really helped me be less afraid of it. Thank you.”

Jyn flushed and her eyes flitted away for a moment before meeting his, making his heart skip a beat. She opened her mouth to say something, but the waiter interrupted them to check in on them, and when he left, he took that conversation with him.

Cassian and Jyn managed to finish the massive sundae before running for the covered bus stop as a late winter rain slashed overhead. The bench was full, so they leaned against the gray metal wall together, Cassian on the outer edge so Jyn didn't get splashed. Cassian squinted to watch for the bus in the rain when he felt something cool brush against his hand. He glanced down and saw Jyn’s fingers over his thumb. He turned his palm and linked his fingers with hers. Jyn smiled as she looked up at him, but she kept the mouth he wanted so badly to kiss closed.

The rumbling exhaust announced the bus’s arrival, and one by one the people on the bench stood up and got their money or passes ready. When the bus pulled up the curb, all but Cassian and Jyn left the stop.

“That’s your bus, isn’t it?” Jyn whispered, her eyes growing wider as he leaned in closer.

“I can catch the next one.”

His lips touched hers, but it wasn’t really a kiss until Jyn pushed herself up on the balls of her feet and deepened it into something he hadn’t expected. She sank against his chest and into the arm he curled around her waist. They broke apart for a breath, although Jyn’s breast swelled against him like she was preparing for a deep dive. The rain lashed against his hair, and the wind swirled raindrops over their ankles, making Jyn shiver.

“You’re freezing,” he mumbled.

“Shouldn’t have eaten ice cream in February,” she laughed breathlessly, the icy tip of her nose pressed against his neck.

In two steps he had her against the wall, his back protecting her from the rain. She unzipped the front of his thick jacket and snaked her cold hands around him. They kissed in their own private corner of the bus stop, which was thankfully empty for the next two buses that passed by.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jyn stood in front of the full-length mirror and smoothed out the large, iridescent sequins that covered the bust of her dress like pink-to-yellow shifting-colored scales, then fluffed out the thin layers of pale pink tulle that fell just over her knees. She tugged the gauzy, off the shoulder sleeves a little higher and let her fingers run over the chain of the crystal pendant. Her mum’s necklace didn’t really fit with the mermaid look like the faux pearl pins scattered through her hair, but she needed it tonight.

There was a soft knock on the door that was followed by, “Stardust?”

“Come in, Papa.”

Papa strode in her bedroom, smiled at the photo of Mama Jyn had taken out of her drawer and hung next to the door, and turned to join Jyn by the mirror.

“Well, you look pretty.”

“Thank you,” she said, her fingers giving her sprayed curls one last feel over. “Leia and Ami texted me, and they’re going to be here in about ten minutes.”

“So stay out of the way?”

“Papa,” she groaned. “That isn’t what I said.”

“I know, I know,” he chuckled.

“Anything else you need to tell me? Don’t drink, don’t do drugs, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do?”

“No, I trust you. Plus, I know Lyra’s looking after you too,” he said and touched her pendant.

Jyn blinked back the tears, tears she thought she finished crying out before she put her make up on. This wasn’t the first dance she’d been to since her mother passed, but it was the first time she’d gone to one with somebody special. Papa may have given Cassian a bit of a hard time, but that would have been nothing compared to what her mother would have dished out, especially after the incident at the pool. Jyn hadn’t planned to tell Papa, especially while coasting on the warm fuzzy feeling from making out with Cassian that afternoon, but the school nurse snitched on them. Papa’s face was a stern as stone when she explained what happened. His eyes did light up when she said that she wasn’t going to have another swimming lesson with Cassian that next Saturday, but the light flickered out when she told him that they were going to the movies instead.

For a whole week he didn’t bring up Cassian’s name, so it surprised Jyn to hear Papa say, “So what movie are you and Cassian going to see tomorrow?”

“Oh, we’re going to that theater that plays old movies, so we’re watching _The Devil’s Backbone._ ”

“Sounds romantic,” Papa laughed, then nodded to Jyn’s phone when it vibrated. “Sounds like your friends are here.”

“Yeah,” she said, her fingers dropping from her pendant so she could hug Papa with both arms.

They embraced each other quietly, Jyn’s heart leaping in her throat at the sight of her father’s pale eyes glittering with his own unshed tears. They pulled away when the phone vibrated again. Jyn tried to carefully wipe her tear away with her knuckle without smearing her eyeliner, but she knew that was useless.

“I’ll go distract them while you finish up,” Papa said.

“Okay,” she said.

When he left and Jyn fixed her make up, she checked to make sure she had what she needed in her white sequined purse: her ticket, her phone, her wallet, her house key, and the pool key she slipped out of Papa’s spare ring of office keys. She snapped her purse closed and rushed down the steps, the crystal bumping her bare skin with every step.

*

The Valentine’s Dance was like any other dance in the school gym turned teen night club, where a couple hundred students bounced and flailed and grinded to the music, the floor slick with their sweat and the air muggy from the fog machine and poor ventilation. What made this dance a step above was the extra red and white balloon arches that framed the dance floor, the outfits were more semi-formal instead of just casual, a couple of food trucks parked next to the usual soda and snacks stand, and dance tickets were five dollars more expensive than usual.

Bodhi and Kay were absolutely _killing it_ in a dance battle that ended with Kay bending Bodhi over his knee in a kiss. Han started the night out dancing with Amilyn, but midway through when Cassian and Jyn went outside to buy a soda, they spied Han and Leia making out in shadows by the dumpster while Amilyn flirted with the dark-eyed Jessika Pava in a blood orange dress at the snack table. Cassian and Jyn returned to the dance floor, the blades of light swinging overhead to the thumping, groovy beat of “Music Sounds Better With You.” She draped her arms over his shoulders, Cassian holding her hips as they swayed together.

“Having fun?” Jyn shouted.

“Yeah!” he said, grinning wide enough for her to see in the dim light. “You?”

She pressed her lips by his ear and said, “Yeah, but I’d like to go somewhere quiet.”

He pulled his head back with a puzzled look on his face. She uncurled her fist to reveal the blocky office key hidden in the folds of her palm. Cassian took her hand in his and kissed each knuckle, which made her laugh, until she saw the chaperon pass them by. Her stomach dipped down from surprise, but then Cassian kissed her neck, drawing her attention back to him. He kissed her along her jaw and paused by her ear.

“Take me wherever you want to go,” he murmured.

The key burned in her hand as she tightened her grip on it, but it kept her grounded and resisting the urge to just tear his clothes off right there.

They slipped out of the gym and snuck through the labyrinth of hallways as quietly as they could. Jyn carried her heels and pointed which direction to turn, Cassian checking the corners to make sure the halls were deserted. They didn’t have to go too far, since the pool was only on the opposite side of the locker rooms that separated the gymnasium from the pool. Jyn’s hand trembled as she jammed the key in its lock. Within the span of a heartbeat she feared that she had picked the wrong key and her father had found out and was probably on the way to the school right this moment and stop the dance until he found the key, but then she turned the key and all her fears evaporated.

* * *

“Shouldn’t we go somewhere a little farther away from the dance?” Cassian said, still able to hear the music when they entered pool room. “So we don’t get caught?”

“We aren’t going to get caught,” Jyn said as she flicked the pool lights on. “Isn’t this better? I can actually hear myself think.”

Her head bowed as she locked the pool door from the inside, her hair swooped over her shoulder except for one stray strand that tangled itself around the chain of her necklace. Jyn gasped when Cassian snuck up behind her and kissed her neck. She twisted in his arms, grabbed him by the hair, and kissed him so hard he stumbled backwards.

“Hold on,” he panted as he broke away, the brain he left behind in the gym finally catching up with his body. “There’s a reason you brought me here, isn’t there?”

“One last lesson. One that I want to learn with you. You can say no, but you have to promise not to laugh.”

“I won’t laugh,” he promised.

She swayed in his arms, her lips pursed.

“I always thought it’d be fun to try kissing someone underwater,” she mumbled, her cheeks blushing to the shade of her dress.

He felt a smile tugging at his lips, but he pinched his mouth closed so she wouldn’t think he wanted to laugh at her. There was just something so unspeakably adorable about how she had been so upfront to him about what she wanted to do with him in the pool, but now she was so shy about it, like she was embarrassed for even wanting an underwater kiss.

“Even when I found someone I wanted to try with, I never wanted to do it in front of other people. So I thought, since we have the pool all to ourselves…”

“Okay,” he said, and pulled away from her to take off his shoes.

“Really?” she said.

“Yeah,” he said.

What he was going to do was incredibly stupid. He could already hear Abuela’s tongue lashings if she ever found out what he was about to do. Maybe she would even tell him the stupid thing she did for Abuelo if it rivaled what he was going to do. He eyed the dark water punctuated by the bright beams of the submerged lights, his chest tightening at the thought of how far he’d have to fall to touch the bottom. He looked at Jyn’s relieved face and felt a little braver.

Cassian ran to the pool’s edge, held his breath, and cannonballed into the deep end.

His limbs unfurled as he sank, surrounded in a cape of bubbles that rushed to the surface. Jyn dove in right after him, the light dancing on her sequins as she swam to him. He scrunched his nose to keep the water out and took a couple of strokes towards her. He tried to kiss her but slipped, a bubble escaping from his mouth. She took his head in her hands, her hair swirling over his face and the tulle of her skirt enveloping his legs. She pressed her lips against his as they both kicked for the surface.

They both gulped down air when they surfaced. Cassian still kicked harder than he needed too, but he kept himself afloat long enough for Jyn to drag him by the shoulder to the wall.

“Idiot!” she panted. “I thought you’d want to try in the shallow end.”

“Yeah, but there’s more space in the deep end.”

She laughed as they pulled themselves out of the pool. He nuzzled her neck and held her close as she pulled the pearl pins out of her hair, his head still buzzing from the adrenaline rush.

“Do you want to try again, but together?” he murmured.

She pulled away from him and gave him a scouring look.

“You’re not afraid?”

“Not when I’m with you.”

He meant it too. When he was under the water with her, he didn’t feel caged in some sort of death trap. He felt, as Jyn described it, free in that subaquatic world where it was just him and her, and one he wouldn't mind visiting again and again.

“Let me take this off first, it’s hard to swim in,” she said and turned back to him. “Get the zipper for me?”

Now it was his turn to flush as he unhooked the tiny silver latch and unzipped the back of the dress. He was only slightly disappointed to see the damp white satin underneath, but then Jyn peeled off her dress. Her slip reached about halfway up her thigh. She pulled up the thin straps higher up her shoulders and smirked at him.

“Hope you’re wearing boxers, or else all of that is going to weigh you down,” she said.

Cassian scrambled to pull off his soggy black slacks and red dress shirt, silently thanking the heavenly father that he had the foresight to wear a newer pair of dark blue boxers.

They stood at the edge of the pool, hand in hand and looking at each other one last time before the jump.

“Ready?” Jyn said.

“Ready.”

Cassian inhaled deeply, held it, and together they plunged into the glimmering depths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot it is finished! This chapter was more of a short, sugary cap since Cassian and Jyn got together after much angst in the last chapter.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the lovely comments and kudos on this very fluffy fic. I do plan on visiting this high school AU again, just not sure when or for what purpose yet. At least I got this finished before school starts lol.


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